Be A Blessing

So, I was thinking the other day....

Cody and I have been back in Church about 7 months now and we have been blessed beyond imagination! But if I'm being totally honest with you, it's not been in the ways I wanted. I know that God promises us blessings for following His plan. For tithing. For reading scriptures. For putting Him first. For lots of other things. I have been looking for blessings. I have been looking for a house. I have been looking for a job for Cody. I have been looking for temporal things. Things to make life easier. Things to make me *happy* in this life. I have been so caught up in "What am I getting out of this?" that I have completely missed the point! I have completely missed all of the blessings that we have been given. I have a great job. I have a business on the side that I love. I have a husband that would do anything within his power for me. I have family, both by blood and by marriage, that love and accept me for who I am. I have a smartsmartsmart, sweet, beautiful little girl who just lights up my world. She is happy. She is healthy. I am in a Church that I love!!! With a Church family that is second to none. I have friends that sacrifice of their time to share their knowledge, wisdom, and talents with me seeking nothing in return.

But this isn't about "Oh, look how wonderful my life is." I mean parts of it are....I still really would like to have a job for my husband and our own roof over our heads...

Here is, what I think, the point to living a righteous life is: It's not about getting blessings, it's about being a blessing. Have you ever thought that maybe God was wanting to bless you with something but that He couldn't because the person He wanted to use to manifest that blessing in your life isn't living their own life in a way that He can use them? (Does that make sense?) So let's go a little further with that thought: What if YOU are the one that is meant to be the manifestor (Yes, I know that's not a word but I like it. K?) of someone else's blessing but Heavenly Father can't use you because you aren't in a position that He can? Wow....when I had that thought....it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am always so focused on myself and what I can get out of everything that I completely forget the other people around me. I forget to look for what I can do for my husband, my child, family, and friends. Maybe I am meant to be a blessing in someone's life and they are getting their blessing because of me.

So my new goal is twofold: #1 Stop focusing on what I don't have and don't get to do and start focusing on what I do have. #2 Start looking for ways to bless other people.

I want to help. I want to be there for someone that needs me. So many people have helped me with so many things. I want to pay it forward. I want to be in a position spiritually that Heavenly Father can use me to manifest someone else's blessing.

I want to do right and live a righteous life not so I can receive blessings....but so I can BE a blessing.

Sharing

I have been having some really random thoughts lately. Instead of keeping them to myself or posting a quick Facebook status, I have decided to share them. I have a blog, so why not? Right?

The first thought I had was the vast difference in in telling a person something and sharing it with them. I can tell you about my God, my work, my family. Telling you requires no emotion. You get the facts. You know the story. Right? I think not. I want to strive to share things with people. By sharing my God with you, I can express to you how much I love Him and all the wonderful things that He's done for me. I can help you feel that same love and maybe see some things He's done for you as well. If I share my photography with you, I can explain to you how much work I've put into it and how much work will always be required. You can be excited with me when I get *that* shot I was going for. If I tell you a story about McKenna's newest achievement and mimic her sweet, precious little voice as best I can, you can laugh with me. You can be proud of my baby like I am.

I don't want to just tell you about my life, I want to share my life with you. I want you to read my posts and know how I'm feeling when I write them. If I have the pleasure of talking to you in person, I want you to hear the joy in voice and see the love in my eyes. Life is a wonderful gift. Family is so precious.

These are things that should be shared!

Little Drummer Boy

I have had a rough couple of days. I won't get into the nitty gritty of it all, because I don't personally like to air my dirty laundry over the internet. Although, sometimes I wonder if it would help other people that may feel like me to just know they're not alone. I haven't figured out any special answers to share, but sometimes it helps to know that it isn't just you. Anyway, that's not what this post is about.

The last couple days have been rough. So....to try and help myself out of my funk I loaded a Christmas playlist onto my Zune. I have some Michael Buble', Rascal Flatts, and Mercy Me. Let me tell you...I LOVE Christmas music. If it wouldn't drive everyone around me nuts, I'd listen to it year round! It always makes me cheery and happy.

There was one song in particular that came on my playlist this morning. It was Mercy Me's version of The Little Drummer Boy. I've heard this song I don't know how many thousands of times. This particular time, though, something in the song really struck me.

"I am a poor boy, too
Pa, rum, pa, pum, pum
I have no gift to bring
Pa, rum, pa, pum, pum
That's fit
To give a king"


It just really made me think that I have nothing to give Him. I have no riches, I have no land, I have nothing that I could hand my King and be proud of my gift. It's a good thing that's not what He wants from us. I have my heart that I can give, my life, my will. Everything that I am. But even that's not enough compared to what He has given me. The amazing thing in all of this is that He doesn't care that it's not enough! Although it doesn't seem like much to me, it's all that He asks. This life isn't even mine. He gave that to me, too. So why can't I give it back to Him? What reason could I possible have for not? What we do for ourselves in this life won't last. It won't matter in the end. It's what we have done for Him and in His name that will be remembered through eternity.

Such a simple song that we've all heard over and over and over. Such a powerful message.

Confessions: Things You May or May Not Know About Me

I've been thinking about this blog post for a few days. Someone asked a group of people to share something about themselves that no one or very few people knew. I couldn't think of anything at that moment, but have been mulling over that question since then. I have come up with a few things I will share with you, if you care to read them.

• I have a serious obsession with Jesse McCartney. More his music than he himself, actually. The song Body Language is my happy song...which leads me to my next confession...
• I know the dance to Body Language...and I learned it about 2 years ago...at the age of 24...
• I only like to listen to music that I know. I love to sing and I can't sing songs I don't know. Usually, my only exposure to new music comes through Cody.
• I always have these grand dreams of exercising and getting in shape, but I never do it. I say I don't have time but I really do. 
• I don't care as much what I look like as I do what number is on the scale. Once the number gets where I want it, then I worry what I look like.
• I get major food guilt. Like bad. Like I just ate a cookie and I feel guilty and bad. I hate that.
• Back to music....I never once bought an N*Sync or Backstreet Boys CD. I am more of a 98* kinda girl. And I WISH they would do a reunion of some sort. I pray for it.
• I LIVE for Thursday nights. Vampire Diaries and Secret Circle are my new TV obsessions. I have seriously been thinking about that all day today and I. Am. So. Excited. Thattodayisthursday.
• I miss my past in the sense that it was fun while it lasted, but if I were to try to live that life again, I don't think I could. I love the memories I have but am happy with the path I have chosen for my future.
• The hardest thing in the world to me is to have faith. I like to see facts. Faith isn't believing things you can prove. It's believing things you can't. It's something I really have to work at. I don't want the faith of Job. I'm afraid if I ask for that kind of faith, I'll be put through what he went through. I feel like I'm already going through enough. 
• I believe that I am where I am now solely because of decisions that I have made. I had a great foundation. I was raised in a Christian home with Godly parents. When I moved out, I tore most of that foundation down and started built myself a new one. Now I'm trying to tear that new foundation down and rebuild yet again one that's worth working on. With the thought in mind that sometimes God has to break us down so we can be built up in a right way...I hope I'm almost done breaking. I feel like I can't break anymore. I'm ready to start building back up. I'm working on it, anyway.
• Oh, on a happier, lighter note...I love my Halloween costume. I'm going to be a flapper and I feel as though I was born in the wrong generation while wearing it.
• And on a related note, I'm happy Cody decided to match me. This year will be legen...wait for it....dary. 

I think that's it for now. It's just a small insight into my mind! <3

Sooo....we moved...

We decided, after lots of prayer and very little deliberation, to move in with Cody's parents. We didn't really have time to deliberate. We had a few situations arise that kind of made our decision for us. The main one being Cody's job. He was at a place...that wasn't a good fit. I won't get into any detail because at this point it doesn't really matter, but I was proud of him. He put his conscience and morals before money. I was SO proud of him. I know that he will be blessed for this decision. I am hoping that blessing comes in the form of another job, but we shall see. A couple of friends that I talk to via Facebook have offers suggestions, so we will be looking into those.

I just want to say a BIG thank you to those aforementioned Facebook friends. It's amazing how I can feel so connected two people that I have only met once in person each, and poured my heart out to over the internet! Two great examples to me of faith.

An even BIGGER thank you to my lovely mother. She has been there for me in more ways than I can list. She has been a rock for me and a shining example of a Christian woman and mother. I <3 her!

Oh man! Our good friends are MOVING to ANOTHER STATE....THIS WEEKEND! I can't believe it's already time! We're going to miss you guys so much! I hope you come back for a visit soon! Like...next week?

So now that I've pretty much rambled about a few different things, I'll let you get back to something productive!

I'm still here!

Although I am quite certain no one missed me, I am back. We'll see if I keep up with this! I have so many thoughts and feelings floating around in my head, it's hard to keep it all straight!

We still live with my mom. It's been 14.5 months now. We are ready to move out into our own place. It's about that time. It's been so wonderful that they have shared their home with us this long and we are thankful that they have been so generous with their space. We have a couple options: A. We can get an apartment or B. We can move in with Cody's parents and get an apartment after the 1st of the year. There are pros and cons to both, none of which I will get into here, and it's a really hard decision to make. I know what I want to do, but I don't know what's best.

We've looked at an apartment that we love. Well, I  love it anyway. I've already thought about how we could utilize the small space and ways to decorate. I can picture that being home. That's what I want. Our own home. Just Me, Cody, McKenna, and Chloe. I love my in-laws and I know that we would be welcome and would have lots of fun living there. But we've been living with someone for over a year now. I want my own kitchen. I want my own washer and dryer. I want to cook my own dinner for my own family. I need a place that I am in charge of. So that's the housing drama!

McKenna is growing like a weed! This child...is just amazing! She repeats everything we say. (Good thing we've cleaned up our language!) She wants to climb all over everything. I think we're getting her some sort of jungle gym for Christmas. Maybe one of those plasticky Little Tykes ones or something. She brings so much love and joy to our family, it's unreal. Being her mommy is so much more than I ever thought it would be. I wouldn't trade it for the world!

My photography is going well. I have a couple things coming up. I'm really kind of settling into it and becoming more comfortable with it. It really is my passion. The only thing I don't like is the time missed with my family. It's not that much right now. I plan on keeping myself limited, too, until I can make a full time job out of it. I don't want to work 40 hours a week at my full time job and then miss out on special times with my family to go work another. Thankfully that hasn't been too much of an issue and I am mindful of it so it never should be. I love photography but I love my family more!

I think that's about all the catching up there is to be done!!!

Branching Out

I have a Facebook page and a Blog for my photography now. I also ordered some business cards. I'm hoping to try to put myself out there some more. I really want to get some more experience. I'm loving what I'm doing so far and can't wait to do more!